In My Mother's Womb

On the night of September 24th, God created something with me.

I was learning new macrame knots and braids through video tutorials when, "you knit me together in my mother's womb" kept repeating in my mind. I stood back and realized the pattern seemed to mirror the verse; an embryo being knit. The video taught me how to form something called a half square sennit (but it looked more like DNA to me) then proceeded to teach a new knot, but it just didn't feel right for this piece. I began aimlessly twisting 4 cords together and an umbilical cord was formed. That's when I realized God was using my hands to create something extraordinary. I tied the two into a bow to symbolize children as gifts from Him.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb."

Psalm 139:13

Tears filled my eyes and I asked God to guide me and to tell me what to do next. Macrame art is normally bulked up with many lark's knots so I draped rope symmetrically and added lots of smaller rope. Now I could see the mother. The last symbols incorporated are feather fletchings from arrows. My inspiration was the verse:

"Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one's youth."

Psalm 127:4

To continue the theme of celebrating life in the womb, I felt led to give a portion of the proceeds made every time this piece was sold to support a local pregnancy center.

May others be blessed and moved through my art, for God's hand was guiding mine through it all.

This product is available in one of my local stores and online in my Etsy store.

1.) Embryo being knit into the mother's womb

2.) DNA strand

3.) Umbilical cord

4.) The mother

5.) Gift ribbon

6.) Feather fletchings

"Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward."

Psalm 127:3

Back To School 2019-2020

With school starting back up, the internet is FILLED with last summer trips, memorable first-day-of-school photos, and moms mourning and/or celebrating sending their kids off...

...Then there's the homeschool moms.

Growing up, I never would have guessed my children would be homeschooled, but here I am—organizing our morning menus and enrolling my kids in something called "forest school". I gave my oldest the option to choose between art classes at a local college or to explore nature freely at forest school and of course, without skipping a beat, she chose the latter. Our $200 can now be put towards savings though. No complaints here!

The number of teaching philosophies (and parenting philosophies for that matter) being pushed on parents these days is staggering—as if we needed one more thing to make us feel inadequate, right? I find myself envying those who lived in a time when the internet had not yet been born. Feeling conflicted though, I realize how heavily I rely on it for information and communication. Still—I long for the quietness of mind that would come without screens surrounding us.

Whether you're sending your children to public school or teaching them at home, this post is for you.

 I grew tired of playing the game of my-kids-need-to-be-the-best-at-everything, so I decided to ditch the old definition of school and create my own that tailored to our family.

Let me repeat that last line: "Tailored to our family".

Before you continue, please understand I believe each family's needs are unique and that the "one size fits all" mentality is not admirable.

Through Abigail's preschool and kindergarten years, we went strictly by our curriculum; not leaving a single worksheet blank and cramming in as much as possible. This led to many tears, guilt on my end, and distance between us. Thank the LORD for making children so forgiving because it normally just resulted in a tense day. I thought I was doing what was best for her education because I've seen the other end of the homeschool spectrum (Free-range & unschooling) and I didn't want my children to be uneducated. How would they be able to do what God calls them to if they know nothing??

"And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:19

   

Then I stumbled upon child-led learning and Montessori ideology and was absolutely blown away. You mean my children are already equipped with the God-given curiosity to learn what's needed?

*throws all the worksheets in the air*

    

While bookwork definitely has it's place in our education, it is NOT my foundation. I used to stay up till the sun rose, with planner in-hand, scheduling our structured school weeks. Now, it is left blank and we fill it daily with the opportunities God gifts us. Family Bible time, cooking, conflict resolution, baby/animal/plant care, healthy habits, independent silent reading, observing, social skills, manners, science experiments, library trips, exploring nature, Sunday school, sign language, sight words, "life math", mission work, household chores, swimming, dance class, painting/drawing, bedtime reading, and so so much more. From the day I gave Him control of my children's education, He has provided bountiful teaching opportunities. 

"For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ."

1 Corinthians 3:11

No matter where your child is being taught, you can give God authority over their education. If they are thriving in public school and sharing the gospel to their peers, that's such a wonderful mission opportunity! If they are thriving in the home; using their special talents to please God, Hallelujah! But, if you notice the benefits in your current situation are not outweighing the disadvantages, please prayerfully consider making a change.

My children are still small and their gifts and talents are still developing, so I will continue to teach them these things that will help them flourish through this living education. As they grow, the lessons will too, but I am just the guide. And He is our teacher.

This Messy, Beautiful Life

Do you ever feel like you're on a treadmill filled with obstacles? There you are—walking swiftly and easily, then out of the blue—toys, diapers, and crackers are thrown at you...at which you trip over and crash into the wall?

That's been ME on the daily

Okay, that may have been a bit dramatic (only kind of), but Mommas of littles...I see you.

Motherhood is such a messy-loud-crazy-kind-of-life, and it can seem overbearing at times, but praise God for every crumb and for every clang of a pot. That may be hard to say in the moment, but those early years are so vital. Our kids' hearts are so important.

Life here at the Parsons' household has been a bit hectic between family trips, wrapping up the school year, preparing for VBS, potty training Weston, investing my time into the young women in my life, Jeremy getting a big promotion, & having a coworker pass away. It's months like these where I question my ability to juggle everything; it's easy to loose sight of life's eternal purpose through wordly eyes. If God's strength were not with me, I would surely crash into that wall on the treadmill.

But instead...He scoops me up and carries me.

When you are feeling discouraged or overwhelmed, please hold fast to this truth: God cares about you. He takes on all your troubles—big or small; they are equivalent in his eyes.

Setting aside my normal momma duties, I wanted to make a quick blog post encouraging women going through the same things as me. Mom to mom, if you need someone praying for you, please leave a comment or email me at elizabethmilestones@gmail.com and I'll pray for you diligently.

"...and in the wilderness. There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place.”

Deuteronomy 1:31

The Birth of Adeline Joy

Thirty nine weeks...it's the longest I've ever been pregnant and prodromal labor was new to me, so my limits were stretched; my patience never having been tested this way. God spoke to me daily; Reminding me, "My timing is best." But it was difficult to hold onto those words throughout the whole day so each one was an emotional rollercoaster. The birth pool was aired up, my affirmations pinned on the wall, and all the supplies gathered. On the outside it seemed as if everything were in place for delivery but I was missing something huge. My spiritual armor. With all my weaknesses exposed, the enemy was able to attack me from every angle. I had to suit up.

"Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes." Ephesians 6:11

Free from distractions, I went to my room to be alone. This time was full of prayer, worship, confession, relaxation, and some stretching exercises as well. Then Adeline dropped.

My midwife appointment was two days later and was held in the room Weston was born in. I've never had an appointment in that room before so it felt special and I wanted this to be the last before seeing my little girl's face.

Prodromal labor continued for another day (3+ weeks in total) but crampiness accompanied the contractions, meaning active labor was near. At 10:45pm on February 22nd, I began having contractions comparable to menstrual cramps, 5 minutes apart. Despite the waves, I went to bed an hour later assuming it was prodromal labor. Then I had a dream were I was leaning over the kitchen counter during contractions. They hadn't stopped when I fell asleep.

I woke at 3:00am on February 23rd to strong contractions I couldn't ignore. Before waking Jeremy, I timed them for 30 minutes and they were 3-5 minutes apart. He tried to move Abigail out of our room to a quieter place to sleep, but once she realized baby was coming there was no chance of getting her to bed again. She immediately got to work and began decluttering my room and cleaning sinks. Best little helper I could ever ask for!

I called my midwife, Stephanie, to let her know what was happening and she responded with, "Are you sure? I just went to bed at 2:00am." She had just delivered 3 babies within the past 24hrs! At this point I knew I was in active labor but have had false alarms before and was worried I'd waste more people's time again. I told her to head on over. Next, I called my mom and asked her to come but told her not to alert anyone else until my cervical dilation was checked. I continued timing my contractions for an hour before Stephanie came and they were 2-6 minutes apart. There wasn't much of a break in between when on my feet, so I chose to labor in bed for a while and allow my muscles to go limp while breathing abdominally.

At 4:40am, my midwife arrived and checked my cervix. I was overjoyed to hear I was 6-7cm dilated! My mom arrived at 4:45am, but went back home to wake my sister after learning how close birth could be. Jeremy was busy filling the tub; hauling boiling water from the kitchen so the water would feel just right. His mom and sister arrived around 5:30am, then I got into the pool to relax. 

Family came in and out to visit with me and when a contraction would come, my focus would turn inward. I found it incredibly comforting to repeat Jesus' name slowly and rhythmically with my abdominal breathing. Pain is not a word I would use to describe my sensations when fear was absent. The waves were powerful, but I knew God was stronger.

Contractions started becoming intense around 7:10am and there wasn't but 30 seconds to 1 minute between them. Even though getting out of the pool was difficult, I made sure to use the restroom frequently so the birth outlet could be completely relaxed and chances of tearing would be minimized. Weston woke up at 7:20am, greeted me, then waited patiently for the sound of a baby's cry on the other side of the bedroom door.

Minutes later, I felt it was time to start breathing Adeline down. I began throat breathing (or "J" breathing), but found it difficult to focus and relax adequately because the bag of waters was bulging uncomfortably, so I gently pinched and broke it at 7:34am. I pushed with contractions and kind of rested in the seconds between. When she was crowning, I still hadn't regained my focus so my breath became shallow and my confidence wavered. Stephanie reminded me to pant so baby would be born slowly. I did so and once her head and shoulders were born, so much pressure disappeared. The relief was wonderful! The umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck and body once so Stephanie and the birth doula, Catrice, unwound it, then I pulled her up out of the water and she was born at 7:38am. I immediately cried for joy. So much had led up to this moment.

Abigail quickly came to my side to meet her new baby sister. This was the ultimate homeschool lesson, haha! Not only did she get to witness labor and delivery, she was able to learn about the amniotic sac, umbilical cord, vernix, placenta, & breastfeeding. I believe this is how birth was meant to be. When the family unit is separated during birth, it can become a thing we fear because it's no longer familiar. One of my greatest hopes for my daughters is that they will know what an absolute blessing birth could be and that it's not an experience that's been "cursed". Adam and Eve had to labor to earn the fruit of the womb and the fruit of the ground, not suffer. 

All the attending women plus Weston piled in the room to see the little one. I don't think Weston knew what to think! He just studied Adeline & I; probably wondering why I was in a pool inside the house. Crampiness continued and the placenta was delivered 30 minutes later. We moved to the bed for some skin to skin and so the kids could get a better look at her. Abigail exclaimed, "Aww, she's so slimy and cute! 

In January, I had crocheted a rainbow cord tie to use in place of a plastic clamp. My midwife knotted it tight, then Jeremy cut the umbilical cord 2 hours after birth. I intended on delaying the clamping for only an hour but the placenta took longer than expected and time just flew by once we were resting in bed.

We weighed/measured Adeline and she was 8lbs even measuring 20 and a half inches long! My biggest baby yet! Jeremy took Adeline to the living room to meet all the family members who were able to come while Stephanie and Catrice took care of me. Before starting the shower, they checked to see if I needed stitches and to my surprise, I was fully intact! Praise God!

Each pregnancy, birth, and postpartum has pulled me closer to God than I have ever been before. With each child He gifts us, I feel more and more blessed. My cup runneth over. I cannot describe how incredibly thankful I am to have been able to birth in my own home and I HIGHLY recommend every expecting mother to look into it and pray over their current birth plan. Pray for God to take your birth plan and change it to line up with His will. You will be blown away with the detail he puts into it! Much more than you could ever write down.

3 days later, Jeremy asked, "So will any more babies be born in this home?"

I responded, "This can't be the last time...I've got to do it again."

God willing.

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate." Psalm 127:3-5

Oakley Parsons - Born 1.3.2018

This is my miscarriage story.

I share in hopes to encourage other mothers who have babies in heaven and to shed light on a topic that should be talked about more freely.

Late into the winter night, I was rocking an unconsolable toddler to sleep while the other cried without end on the floor. We had just decided it was almost time to open our family to the possibility of another child, but I was taking that back in my mind. "How could I handle more children if this is how things are with two? I don't think I could do it, God." Unable to calm them down after an hour, I fell asleep. With the sky still unlit, I woke to two sleeping babes in my lap and Bing Crosby singing, "I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads. And one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds. If you're worried and you can't sleep, just count your blessings instead of sheep and you'll fall asleep counting your blessings." Tears running down my face, God met me in that moment and I felt peace.

The next morning, I took a pregnancy test and it came out positive. Well hello little blessing! I had felt no symptoms so the news came as a HUGE shock. As soon as Jeremy came home from work, I told him by revealing a drawing of arrows with words from Psalm 127:3-5:

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them. He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate."

He was shocked as well, but very happy! Christmas rolled around and we told our families in different, special ways. I've always wanted to do that. And as you could guess, Abigail was ECSTATIC and Weston had no clue what was going on. I couldn't wait for this little one to grow bigger.

Days went by and I realized the small symptoms I was experiencing weren't there anymore. Instead, they were replaced with this weird feeling on my right side and cramping here & there. While I was alarmed, I tried to extinguish my fears to make it through this holiday. We were out of town and the best I could do was to keep in touch with my midwife. When we got back, the pain subsided but my symptoms were still missing. The earliest I could get an ultrasound was days away no matter how much I pleaded. All I wanted was to have the first and last photo of my baby in the womb.

My twenty first birthday was coming up and Jeremy wanted to make it special, despite this tragedy unfolding, so he booked us a fancy hotel room with an ocean view. Before checking in, we saw a movie at the theater and had a great time, but when I went to the ladies' room, I saw bright red blood. At this moment, I fully understood the depth of the phrase: "my heart sank." I kept this discovery to myself till we got to the hotel room. I think I was still processing it. Jeremy was very concerned and constantly asked how I was feeling. I was in no pain though, so we went to dinner and tried to enjoy what we could of the night. It was my last day being twenty. 

Many tears were shed that night. We both woke up before sunrise, naturally, and watched the dawning of the new day together. Then the pain came. I told my family what was going on, then we picked up the kids and headed to my grandparents' house, where we were currently living. When evening came, Jeremy ran a warm bath for me to try and relax in while my dad cooked a birthday dinner (I decided to still have a family party that night because...decisions were too hard to make at the time). Many thoughts swirled in my head as I sat there, surrendering to nature. The house was full of people who loved me yet, I'd never felt so alone. I was confused why God was taking my baby. And why today, on my birthday? I thought, "Surely He couldn't be right here by my side, comforting me. Could He?"
My midwife called after hours and asked if I could make it to the birth center in 20mins so I quickly got dressed and hopped into Jeremy's truck. My legs were shaking violently, teeth clattering, and I began feeling faint. Once at the birth center, my midwives used their low-tech ultrasound to see if the heartbeat or movements were visible. We all saw a tiny flicker of movement and for a moment my spirits were lifted. Praise God I got the opportunity to see this little baby alive. They gifted me some herbal calcium drops and told me which supplements to start taking immediately.

Jeremy dropped me off at the house so he could go to CVS and buy the supplements. When I checked to see how much blood I'd lost, I saw an amniotic sac had already been delivered. Stunned, I came up with many theories. Was this the reason why I was shaking in the car? Did I deliver in the car? Could the ultrasound pick up the baby outside of my body? Wait, was I pregnant with twins? Did one miscarry and one survive? Jeremy came back with the supplements and was equally confused, but we were set on the idea that I still had one living baby in my womb. I opened the sac to help answer these questions and my mother & grandmother came to investigate with me. Honestly, the best way to describe what baby looked like is like a gummy bear. I won't share photos online due to the sensitivity of them, but I am more than willing to share privately.
The pain was significantly reduced so I met the family in the dinning room for some potato soup dinner and a party. Throughout the whole thing I kept having mini contractions (I didn't know that's what it was then) and they were very distracting. When the party was over, I went to the restroom and passed the placenta. So that's why I was contracting! I was amazed at how this really was like a miniature birth. (Almost) Everything that happens with a term birth happened except it was all on a smaller scale.

We went for our ultrasound the next morning with high hopes that we'd see a surviving twin. The technician never measured a baby though. The room could not have been any quieter. The drive back  was silent most of the way. When we pulled up to the house, the midwife called to confirm the miscarriage. Jeremy and I spent the rest of the day grieving together, praying, & discussing burial ideas. We decided to name the child Oakley to remind us of Isaiah 61:3

“To grant those who mourn in Zion, Giving them a garland instead of ashes, The oil of gladness instead of mourning, The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting So they will be called oaks of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.”

When it was time to pick the kids up again, it was hard seeing my mother and sisters. I just crumbled into each one of their embraces. It was time to tell Abigail what had happened now. Jeremy and I took her to the creek next door and gently told her that the baby had died and is now in heaven with Jesus. She hung her head low, asked a few questions, then spotted some clovers and frolicked through them like nothing had happened. We all went to the garden center to purchase an oak tree, then the hardware store for some oak wood to make a burial box.

On December 5th, I found out I was pregnant and on January 5th, we buried our baby. Jeremy and I planted the placenta first, then invited the kids outside with us. We took photos, buried Oakley, sang Jesus Loves Me, then took turns praying.

This is what I said that day: "God doesn’t waste a single tear, so this moment will be used for HIS glory. We serve a mighty God who knows The Whole Picture. Even though we see our lives through pieces, we find comfort in knowing it’s not our job to figure out this infinite puzzle. It’s our job to point to the Creator. HE IS STILL GOOD!"

And He is still good. Our precious Oakley is in the presence of GOD today. And one day we are going to see him, but with a PERFECT body. I spent days grieving over the loss of our child, but found God's peace quickly because I realized Oakley was never mine to loose! He belongs to our Father above and I am thankful I got to be apart of his life.

If you've gone through a miscarriage before and haven't found the God-given peace that I've mentioned, I pray you do. I pray that you learn to release all pain, all doubt, and all fears. And if you haven't experienced this, there's definitely still spiritual things you can take away from this story, but also use this as insight so that you may know how to comfort those around you who are grieving.